甘瑅走后，最初的一两个月，甘棠没法接受现实。她每天回到家，都会下意识找一圈。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtgplo1x2jyfema9furbmkwe5ianskbjpcc3yvnq7z/blockquotegt
他像个看不见的幽灵，当她在卧室里时，他仿佛留在自己的房间，当她找遍他的房间时，他又似乎躲进洗手间。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtpqajybs7t5svrfqawtrbunodz0fwvl61eh8u3nji/blockquotegt
甘瑅没带走几样东西，以至于房屋陈设还保留原来的模样，桌上有些杂乱，甘棠最初想要整理，却又放弃了。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtfbfe6wr45rlkzja8o7yudgtkc0n2nixhzveiq1po/blockquotegt
她不忍破坏他曾留下的痕迹。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtzgsvdahlqb1tvrqop89khfcukwu6yy7m2f0ijwbj/blockquotegt
只是，随着时间过去，桌上积了灰，甘棠终究还是得抹去那些痕迹。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtxdhsaytelvj1rqz2ob6yg8mgntine7c0kacsr93h/blockquotegt
干净整洁的桌子，不会等来弄乱它的那个人。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtmvagb4ibs5hfqnj6r1gh2ndvld8catmyxes7ruuw/blockquotegt
寂寥吗？blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gt2okrigntx1hekdp3yhwpnqr94zbzjxlajcbs8fvl/blockquotegt
甘棠缩抱成一团，睡在他的床上。贪恋着那一点残留的气息。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gto49lfu8v6xgh7jxqwcbkafm1tbljepz0nryoaiku/blockquotegt
孤独吗？blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtozmyhr0jhdb8a1pfoykwxqfblciu7dwqggnkepcz/blockquotegt
她不知道，一场相聚渺茫的分离，同死别有何区别。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtgeifcqa0pjpntgo9vc8m3l6bf2arxzmevybr4lds/blockquotegt
甘瑅抛下了她。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtqa6yxmwkurntaldmozodb0ew9hyvi3hj547cc1ig/blockquotegt
活人的抛弃不比死人，是出于自身意志抉择，因而显得更不可原谅。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gt1joptgq84nw7bxsnpdev3omcy6ry2brvalg9jxkm/blockquotegt
甘棠因这个被一点点强化巩固的认知，对甘瑅恨意与日俱增。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtca4xg795mgvpekzsclrkfjvlqifyo3y8tb6uztxs/blockquotegt
他就最好死了。她咬牙切齿地想。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtajniryzd9xtlgnudcmp5e7vsbsqvkbchw6xyhr4p/blockquotegt
然后就梦到了他。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtrc7ou0jft4va9eszvn1xhcfhksb5iwkqmxgpumdz/blockquotegt
少年像只猫似的被抓住封进棺材，送进暗不见光的地底洞穴。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtmfq3hkc68lxezo1by0bghkgs7wupwveayvntztcr/blockquotegt
洞穴宽敞，两旁摆满密密麻麻的棺材。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtznsxcwjh2gvyxumbrwyhvt5bgdo6iea9lj8csorp/blockquotegt
甘棠急的心急火燎，顾不得害怕，自那些棺材之间寻找甘瑅，小声唤他的名字。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtlo3bepzcx0kwyt4jzdsqmrhgvikuhgdtryf5elsx/blockquotegt
后来，少年就推开棺材盖，慢悠悠坐起身招呼她，“姐，我在这儿呢。”blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gttc4cd1zbnirwvjqq386wihpyja2xoozvamk5ubpn/blockquotegt
他的肤色苍白得近乎透明，在昏暗的洞穴里泛着淡而柔和的光。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtkx45yognjcd0rebtblshfm7aemzgizcwsylwvdvt/blockquotegt
迎着狂喜的甘棠，甘瑅只哀伤一笑，“姐，你来晚了，我没法离开了。”blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtl4yfu5xihowmkssvckb2igg73zupved0ahn6ytaf/blockquotegt
“我已经死了。”blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtzgvt7d5olj1qmkgrvj09azmirb6xnutqcupfpksy/blockquotegt
怎么会这样？blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtqujhrbwxegk16amd0sa4o9cqoskzxf5vp8wtztbp/blockquotegt
甘棠难以置信地看着他，少年的一颦一笑都是这么鲜活，可他却说他死了。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtaeb5cnawlw0gfhsrh9p6gqnvdo4u71xvzsxjyf2o/blockquotegt
她难以置信，去摸他的手，指尖触到的唯有冰冷坚硬，碰触只在一瞬，破碎，化开，散成齑粉。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtxuclymjvosqeut7gic1k5dk8wer3zral4pbf0o6q/blockquotegt
她看着他一点一滴自眼前化成烟一般细的粉末，落回棺材里。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtuvquambehr9p7as1bgpqjvom0kilyitnfj2ezyn5/blockquotegt
甘棠看着自己颤得不成样子的指尖。那里正逐渐化作半透明的白，如同被点着的烟头。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gt3c5p7tlrrxhkmntwz2wdpvjgmegxavqoksae9niu/blockquotegt
她心里一动，吹了一下，身体也跟着一节节化掉了。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtzlxsuewhatbv615njm23gkp7zkoru9qdiofcpny8/blockquotegt
偏在这时，洞窟深处吹来一阵风，将她化成的那一把灰推得远了。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gt2qiculmyuxqk9ewfzhrbkgdw15x0teda8i6s74jc/blockquotegt
甘棠悲恸地捏紧心脏，难受喘不上气来。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtctvurjdx3ghfon8mibvjlb27r9acsexihapdnk/blockquotegt
她头一次发现，唯她一人的空房子，像一只巨大的棺材。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtvdbzsmk4gn7pvzueoailwrrfh39xjj5atxqu/blockquotegt
她再也忍受不了，第二天就去申请住校。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtdxpabcmdly179sguoztie6mwwljt2ouqbhxkjnre/blockquotegt
整个高叁剩下的日子，甘棠几乎都住在学校宿舍，八人间拥挤嘈杂，偶有勾心斗角，却能让她睡个好觉。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtr7zcabddcjy2pqibskol05whwrgsfhenxgiupon6/blockquotegt
那段日子里，甘棠陷入彻底的麻木，她的日子单调，几乎不剩什么喜好，她的味觉出了问题，吃饭也成了苦修的功课。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtbmuj6tgcz23omudeoww5lsfreyftivkvn9apxdic/blockquotegt
甘瑅会给她打电话，陌生的号码，来自遥远的城市，反反复复打来。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtacedzsrdy6gt3lpyhjflgxqpvkxzur1vn7mim9ia/blockquotegt
甘棠知道那是他，没有陌生人肯隔着千里迢迢，小心翼翼挑她的休息时段打骚扰电话。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtkuyroekm5la6gbxes8stbwfzxv1ohtvpczmn4ypi/blockquotegt
她最初不肯接电话，甚至报复性地关了机，直到做了那个梦后，又忽然释然了。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtduhu7tgtosyv6wzoxsckjvigd1frxblqfymw3mj2/blockquotegt
她想毕竟甘瑅还活着，活在看不见的地方，过得好好的。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtjwe6f3tyoc9dfshjpdl4xrzgurlianzbbs18vnkv/blockquotegt
她一点也不想他死掉。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gta1fd9olzsynbah5xupmshgp7icuotqkkcwrrwqln/blockquotegt
他们又恢复联系，每周只打一次电话，因为甘棠只会在周末傍晚时开机。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtbnsexif6lam1cj9k35ehtgfturqdynkcbopa4pyg/blockquotegt
在电话里，甘棠从不提那个吻和何顾，甘瑅也不提他的家庭生活，他们小心避开雷区。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtjlhgbwc2xnvucfrfo6pohwm05samyqkgzund13d9/blockquotegt
甘瑅生日的这天，央着甘棠要生日礼物。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtcpdr4fwzbe6scagux3herpkzlnmuiqymbdj5jo0q/blockquotegt
甘棠有点生气，他又不在旁边，她哪来的礼物给他。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtre9aysc50a1imqie3bvzthkgvtw6oxhfj7xrys2u/blockquotegt
后来，她被催的实在没办法了，就给甘瑅唱了一首《宝贝》。blockquotecite=#039class=#039copyright#039style=#039background:#fffborder-left:5pxsolid#4a84cepadding:20px50px#039gtzavtffpikyx6wzbnojxumwr0ks7dq12n89pbt4je/blockquotegt